Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
