He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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