Pregnant stripper...not hot.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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