after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
