That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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