Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
pray to the hookup gods
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
