She swung at the pinata with crutches
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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