i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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