The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
