Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize