don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
