Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize