Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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