yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
