i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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