My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
