That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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