I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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