Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
