Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
