We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
