You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
