Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
