why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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