Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i drank out of a bidet.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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