Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Two words: blizzard sex
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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