Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
