That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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