every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
