Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
