I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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