I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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