I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
