At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
