Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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