She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
