I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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