having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize