you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You were trust falling into bushes
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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