dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
