addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
