i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
its liver damage thursday
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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