You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize