Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
