He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
