this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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