i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
