when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
