apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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