Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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