At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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