In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
