You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
