It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
