I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize