We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
