omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
