I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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