Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
A+ Viking dick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
