It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
