Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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