There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize