Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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