Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize